|
I'm tired of the damn games that i have to play along with.. give me something.. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST! I dont suck, I'm not an asshol, I am core. you could be if you werent so god damn stupid about things.
FUCK IT! SHANE AND I RULE OVER ALL! FUCK
<3 |
|
sitting around, no work today
try pacing to keep awake
laying around, no school today
just drink until the clock has circled all the way
it is late afternoon
as you walk through the rooms
of a house that is quiet
except for unanswered telephones
you stand near the sink
while you're mixing a drink
you think you don't want to pass out
where your roommates will find you again
stumble around the neighborhood with nothing to do
you're always looking for something
to sniff, smoke, or swallow
calling over next door to see what they got
but you would settle for anything
that would make your brain slow down or stop
break this circle of thoughts you chase
before they catch back up with you
and your parents noticied your thinning face,
all the weight you lost
all the weight you are losing
you said, "i'm done feeling like a skeleton
no more sleep walking dead"
you're going to wake from this coma
you're going to crawl from this bed you have made
and stop counting on that camera
that hangs round your neck
because it won't ever remember
what you choose to forget
as you try to find some source of light
try to name one thing you like
you used to have such a longer list
and light you never had to look for it
but now it's so easy to second guess everything you do
until all you want is to finish this half empty glass
before the ice melts away
this feeling always used to pass
but seems like it's every day seems like its every night now |
|
haw, i'm on steve's account! yay for hacking! nah, he just forgot to log out when he was over. this is fun. i should pretend to be him! the funny thing is...his internet is down, so he won't know i posted this for awhile! yesssss. shhhh, everyone. don't tell him. haw haw, rock.
your hacker friend,
erin. |
|
I swear that I wont delete this...
You cant promise me anything and thats fine, I dont want you to, atleast I got enough out of you to know that there could be a chance when you get your shit together(same here). This is going to be hard because one day at a time means I'm going to drive myself nuts for awhile but its worth it for you. Heres the thing, we end up spending all of this time together and I know its because you still love me but you just cant be with anybody at the moment, well honestly, neither can I. Day by day, one step at a time.... key word here is time.
Decided to write again, oh well, it helps
<3Current Mood:  contemplative Current Music: all the songs that matter right now |
| » Monday Boredom |
|---|
10 YEARS AGO I...
1. was 15
2. started smoking
3. played in a misfits rip off band with Erich
4. smoked pot for the first time
FIVE YEARS AGO I...
1. played in Kabuki
2. lived with Erich and Phil
3. worked at Macris
4. drank alot
TWO YEARS AGO I...
1. lived at the Birdsill house with Erich and Phil
2. was unemployed
3. was totally obsessed with Thursday and Coldplay
4. had a shaved head
ONE YEAR AGO I...
1. lived in Chicago
2. quit the Dead Popes
3. unemployed again
4. hoping we wouldn't have Bush for a 2nd term
LAST WEEKEND I...
1. went to Franks with the fam(roommates)
2. worked the ND game
3. got into an arguement
4. got very little sleep
YESTERDAY I
1. worked
2. had a weird conversation with my brother
3. found out some really bad news
4. drank beer and ate Taco Bell with Jessica
TODAY I
1. had my first adult conversation with my sister
2. worked
3. bitched my brother out about being a stupid teenager
4. listened to alot of butt rock and cheesy 80's love songs
TOMORROW I WILL
1. force my porbation officer to talk to me
2. ride a bike to the south side so I can check my dads mail and eat his food since he out of town
3. maybe talk to my mother
4. hopefully hang out with Liz like planned(you better remember hooker)
Oct. 17th, 2005 @ 10:03 pm
|
| » this isnt a fucking pity call |
|---|
I just dont think I will ever get it right.... EVER! Do I have to stop being the nice guy? Do I have to start being a jerk? Really? Am I that awful to be with? Sorry, I'm being emo at the moment but I've been wearing my heart on my sleeve for sooooo long and I'm getting sick of it. When is enough enough? Everyone else can have happy long term relationships but I cant seem to keep someone that I really care about for longer then a second... I just need to get the fuck out of this house but I seemed boxed in wherever I go. GRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!
I wish I had a God
Oct. 14th, 2005 @ 11:23 am
|
| » Wow |
|---|
I feel way better then I thought I would.... that doesnt mean I dont want to hang out, I just realize that I did NOTHING wrong and this just makes me a better person. Maybe now I can hang out with my friends and not feel guilty about it. Fuck some bitches
Sep. 27th, 2005 @ 01:41 pm
|
| » (No Subject) |
|---|
FUCK ALL
I GOT DUMPED
ITS ALL BULLSHIT
I'M GOING TO GET FUCKED UP
HATE MY LIFE FOR A FEW WEEKS
FUCK ALL AGAIN
EXCEPT FOR THE FEW THAT I LOVE, ALL FUCKING LADIES NEED TO FUCKING DIE IN A CAR CRASH WHERE THE LIMBS EXPLODE AND THERE IS NOTHING LEFT BUT THEIR BLACK HEARTS OF INFANITE DEATH.. SOULLESS BITCHES
I'LL GET OVER IT AND FIND SOMEBODY BETTER BUT GODDAMN.... HONESTLY I'VE HELD BACK ON THE GODDAMN FOR FAR TO LONG SO... GOD-FUCKING-DAMN, NEVER DATE A MONEY HUNGREY CHRISTIAN... E'NOUGH SAID
Sep. 27th, 2005 @ 01:27 am
|
| » Woot Woot |
|---|
Well I guess either tonight or tomorrow will be the deciding factor in my relationship. She's pissed, I'm not, things can be worked out but nothing has changed since Saturday and I'm freaking out. I guess all I can do is wait it out because either we're finished or we're not. Happy early birthday to me
Sep. 26th, 2005 @ 11:09 am
|
| » (No Subject) |
|---|
I just dont get it..
Sep. 25th, 2005 @ 08:36 pm
|
| » (No Subject) |
|---|
I could fucking kill somebody right now! Yeah, you heard me, KILL!
Sep. 25th, 2005 @ 11:03 am
|
| » (No Subject) |
|---|
Who do you trust?
Sep. 25th, 2005 @ 07:11 am
|
| » 4 to 5 months yay |
|---|
Blah fucking blah
Sep. 11th, 2005 @ 08:58 pm
|
| » And so it comes to this... |
|---|
You cant change people, you can try so hard but you cant change a fucking thing. I'm guilty of alot of things, I have major faults, as do each and everyone of you and one of mine is that I put to much faith in people, way to much infact. I've set myself up for fall after fall and you would think that I would learn but I always start over where I left off... blind faith in people and the thought that they are genuine in there emotions. I guess the key word in this whole thing is faith, well you can claim faith all you want but do you truly have it? Why would you? I just lost my faith in people....
Good day
Jul. 20th, 2005 @ 10:10 am
|
| » Well,,,,, |
|---|
...I just cant win and i give up. I hate to be emo but I'm starting to think that I'm never going to be with anyone long term. Fuck it, I have bitterness to keep me company, YAY FOR THAT! HOLLA
Jul. 20th, 2005 @ 02:15 am
|
| » Just in case |
|---|
Take my Quiz on QuizYourFriends.com!
ummm yeah, i'm happy so fuck off(not directed to anyone at all, just being my dickhead self at 5am)
<3 to all
Jun. 28th, 2005 @ 02:57 am
|
| » FUCK YEAH |
|---|
Motley Crue is life!
Oh yeah, I have developed a sorta man crush(as Lisa puts it)on someone.... shhhhh
Jun. 6th, 2005 @ 12:25 am
|
| » (No Subject) |
|---|
May. 25th, 2005 @ 08:36 pm
|
| » OH MY FUCKING GOD |
|---|
Star Wars Episode 3, what can I say? Well for starters it was the best fukcing movie I have ever seen... oh fuck I cant talk about it anymore because I'm going tear up.... <3
May. 19th, 2005 @ 08:21 pm
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
clovesplintered's journal